If you are in immediate danger, please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence 24/7 Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or Live Chat at https://www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/
Is safety an issue? Are you planning on leaving your relationship?If so, prior to, during, and after leaving a relationship are the most dangerous times for a woman. Whether you stay or leave, a safety plan is imperative. The National Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence has developed two key resources:
- Domestic Violence Guidelines:
- Domestic Violence Personal Safety Plan:
Are you looking for a Christ-centered, educational, and caring support community?
- The Oasis Bible Study is dedicated to restoring hope and dignity in a confidential and safe live online setting through God’s truth and the truth about abuse.
- For women in the Greater Portland, OR area, there is also a class that meets locally.
- Call Living Waters of Hope at 503.850.8225 for class details. See what other women are saying
Do you need to find a women’s help agency in your area?
- National Network to End Domestic Violence – https://nnedv.org/content/state-u-s-territory-coalitions/
Do you need to find legal information for your state?
Are you looking for more resources to educate yourself?
- View our Domestic Abuse Resource List
Do you need to know what a controlling relationship looks like?
If so, answer the questions on the Emotional Abuse Test below.
- Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
- Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
- Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
- Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
- Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
- Feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner…
- Humiliate or yell at you?
- Criticize you and put you down?
- Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
- Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
- Blame you for their own abusive behavior?
- See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
- Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
- Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
- Threaten to take your children away or harm them?
- Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
- Force you to have sex?
- Destroy your belongings?
- Act excessively jealous and possessive?
- Control where you go or what you do?
- Keep you from seeing your friends or family?
- Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
- Constantly check up on you?
Emotional Abuse Test Scoring: The more questions you answered “yes” to in this emotional abuse quiz, the more likely it is that you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, reach out. No one deserves to be emotionally abused by another person, no matter what the circumstance. Remember that you are not alone and there are people available to help you.
In addition to emotional abuse, you may also be experiencing physical, financial, sexual, psychological, and spiritual abuse. For instance, does your partner use scripture to control and manipulate you?
- Domestic Abuse is “a pattern of coercive behavior used by one person to control and subordinate another in an intimate relationship. These behaviors may include physical, sexual, psychological, and economic abuse.” (Oregon Domestic Violence Council).
- There is no excuse for abuse, and it is not your fault. The specific tactics can be found on the Power and Control Wheel and the Spiritual and Religious Abuse Wheel.
- There is a cyclical pattern to this behavior causing false hope and confusion for any woman. This cycle of behavior is designed to keep you in the relationship… and to keep you silent. Each phase is essentially a type of manipulation because abuse is a choice otherwise, he would be acting this way outside of your home.