Knowing the Signs Can Make a Difference
"The things I'm learning about manipulation are very eye-opening for me. I thought all these years that my husband was my best friend. I thought he was helping me. Turns out, he was just lying, and manipulating me. I have learned that my husband is not my best friend. He is the person who has been hurting me the most. He has been trying to kill my spirit and cause me not even to realize it was him." - Christy
Do You Know What Questions to Ask a Woman in Crisis?
When talking to a woman who is in a confusing/scary relationship it is important to know that she might not even know she is being abused. A domestic abuse survivor wrote to us and gave us a list of questions she would ask if she was "talking to a woman and trying to figure out if she is in an abusive relationship (even if she doesn't know it)
Download QuestionsRed flags and warning signs of an abuser may include but are NOT limited to:
- Extreme jealousy
- Possessiveness
- Unpredictability
- A bad temper
- Cruelty to animals
- Verbal abuse
- Extremely controlling behavior
- Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships
- Forced sex or disregard of their partner’s unwillingness to have sex
- Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods
- Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens
- Sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school
- Controls all the finances
- Abuse of other family members, children or pets
- Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair
- Control of what the victim wears and how they act
- Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly
- Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others
- Harassment of the victim at work
There is no excuse for abuse. It is not your fault
The Power and Control Wheels can help you see the pattern of abuse and help you begin to find clarity.
Understanding Domestic Abuse
Are you wondering what domestic abuse is?
Domestic Abuse is a "pattern of coercive behavior used by one person to control and subordinate another in an intimate relationship. These behaviors may include physical, sexual, psychological, and economic abuse."
There is cyclical pattern to this behavior causing false hope and confusion for any woman. This cycle of behavior is designed to keep you in the relationship...and keep you silent. Each phase is essentially a type of manipulation because abuse is a choice otherwise, he would be acting this way outside of your home.
Cycle of Abuse