7 Key Facts You Need to Know About Non-Fatal Strangulation

I did not think non-fatal strangulation occurred within Christian marriages, but after 13 years of working with women, I can tell you that it does.

Why? Because it is the most effective way to control another person. These traumatized women are living in fear and in danger of losing their lives. Why? Because research has shown that women in a relationship with someone who has been non-fatally strangled is 750% more likely to be killed by him... and sometimes they are.

Non-fatal strangulation (NFS) is an external force (using a body part or implement) that is applied to the neck, throat, chest, or a blockage of the nose or mouth that "impedes" (not even fully cuts off) blood or air flow or both. This is a terrifying event for a woman who often believes she is going to die. 

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7 Key Things You Need to Know:

1. Within 5-10 seconds, a women can lose unconsciousness - even if she can still breath, talk, or scream - due to the loss of blood to the brain. This causes emotional, psychological, neurological, and physiological damage. Brain injury and a stoke after NFS can also be a result under certain circumstances. 
2. Only 49% of women even know they lost consciousness. Therefore, they may not understand the severity of what happened to them. 
3. It is imperative that they get a medical examination after an incident like this. If the police are called and trained, they will urge the woman to do so. Those medical reports are very important if needed for legal reasons.
4. Not all NFS incidences show visible signs on the victim, but there are often internal signs. Some of those internal and even external signs show up a day or two later. Therefore, it is important for the police or medical examiner to follow up to check for these potential signs and symptoms.
5. This is a CRIME and a FELONY in all 50 states. Therefore, documentation by the woman, the police, and medical team is crucial to legally protect her.
6. Police who are killed during 911 domestic abuse calls are typical killed by men with this kind of history. There has also been a link to serial killers.
7. The challenge is that many women return to their abusers. If a woman pressed charges initially, often she changes her mind. Although hard to understand, kindness and compassion are important no matter what her decisions are.

In any abuse situation, safety for those you care about is the top priority versus trying to restore the marriage as the top priority. Please click HERE for safety plans that you can discuss or share with her.

NOTE: This information is from an online training I attended with information based on the research from Alliance for Hope International out of San Diego, CA. You can click HERE for more information and resources.

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

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So Now What?

1. If you are in a controlling relationship and this is happening, know that your life is in danger no matter how many times he apologizes or says it will never happen again. If it happens again, go to the emergency room for a medical (forensic) exam. (Disclaimer: Unfortunately, not all emergency room staff are trained in doing a forensic exam. You can call and find out ahead of time. Sometimes other medical facilities are trained in this way.)

2. If you have a friend or family member in this kind of situation, gently share these facts and encourage her to go to the emergency room next time. Perhaps, you can take her or meet her there.

3. If you are a faith leader, do not underestimate the harm this kind of husband can do to his wife or to you. Often, a woman will not tell you this is happening unless she deeply trusts you. This is evidenced by her felt emotional and spiritual support for her and your concern for her safety (even without knowing physical abuse is happening).

Physical abuse can be hard for any woman to disclose. She may be trying to protect her husband's reputation, not realize the severity of the situation, be too embarrassed to admit this is happening to her, or just be too afraid to say anything due to the consequences she will face at home. There are times I found out years after someone was in one of my Oasis Bible Study support classes that this was taking place or other forms of physical abuse.

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 Resources for You!

Understanding domestic abuse is vital to helping women. 

Understanding Domestic Abuse is vital to helping women with compassion and confidence.

Oasis Bible Study Support Classes is a safe and confidential online support class where women can begin or continue their recovery journey with other women seeking Gods' truth and the truth about domestic abuse. At the time of this writing, Oasis registration is open for the Winter Session beginning in January.

Hope Giver Essentials is a free self-paced series of 4 30-minute videos to equip you to help someone you care about. If you are a faith leader, we also have the next level training using our CARE Model of Intervention. Please email [email protected] for more information. 

Note: This Hope Giver Training can be used by any individual or group, like a leadership team. We are happy to join you via Zoom to answer any questions. 

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You may be saving someone's life!

The more you understand about domestic abuse, the better prepared you will be to recognize and respond to these heart-breaking and complicated situations whether you are in this situation or helping someone else. 

It truly takes all of us to have a greater impact to help more women live a life without confusion, harm, and fear. Thank you and God bless!

 Blessings,

 Diane and the Living Waters of Hope Team

[email protected]

 P.S. Please share this article with those you know to help raise awareness, support women in controlling relationships, and train support people from a biblical lens. Thank you!

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After Thoughts:

1. Did you know that nonfatal strangulation is a "thing" on social media platforms like TikTok (and more!) where friends film themselves doing this to each other.
2. Did you know that this practice in used in pornography. But, even if a woman consents to allowing her partner to nonfatally strangle her for a kinky way of having sex, he can still face a felony charge. 
3. Did you know that some men will strangle their partners then stage a "suicide" because there are not always external marks or bruises from a strangulation? The Alliance of Hope International calls this Hidden Homicides. This is really happening!